Carlito is running several scams out of a tire and lube place. Mexicans at the Malaka store don’t care for prejudice. People responding to an ad for free Pokemon cards are told to fuck off. Jimmy Custard puts his own spin on the old dreidel song.
Carlito experiments with playing audio from a YouTube food review while calling McDonalds. He then curses at a bakery worker for no reason. Matt is coming in his wheelchair machine to work at the pizza machine. Carlito mixes Indian with Puerto Rican and comes up with the Maricon call.
Erotic cake deliveries aren’t appropriate for the church. We cancel a Chinese food order after it has already been prepared to the chagrin of the restaurant owner. Carlito commands a receptionist to put one of the law partners on the phone. Why do thrift stores always smell like piss and flies? A doctor is flabbergasted by Carlito’s phone antics. Hot ham water costs $1.08 per cup. A dollar store manager refuses to believe that her employees are smoking marijuana cigarettes.
A store manager is going to have a stupid baby. Carlito is not having any luck trying to buy a gallon of cooking oil for Chinese take-out. A sushi place will not take Carlito’s order due to his voice tone. Baz was exposed to wanking at the Wankers Bar. We talk to Jaws from the James Bond movies. We are calling back the spring factory for spring grease.
Carlito demonstrates his God bless you test with several churches. We recruit the guy at the American Legion to infiltrate the Freemasons. Angel trumpet tea will really fuck you up. Greek key party at the Greek church. Carlito calls the help desk after he intentionally broke a cash register. An employee revolt is threatening to publically embarass a restaurant manager.
RBCP sends in a new twitter complainer for us to call. Michael has one of his high school friends prank call the pizza machine that he works at. Carlito calls trying to find out if his girl friend was at the theater giving a special kiss. Carlito is calling black muslims again. Mr. Wu sold us cheap counterfit springs that are now failing.
Dialer joins Carlito for some daytime pranks. Carlito is watching loud porno stuffing his face with food while applying for work this week. Lucy is calling on behalf of her son who overslept and missed a job fair. Speaking nonsense about a driving job leads to a bunch of confusion on the phone.
A man is upset his Asian neighbor was asking him for $5 to contribute towards a neighborhood sign. Carlito is complaining that a consulting company embarassed him in front of clients at a Japanese steakhouse. A Chinese girl won’t tell us what Chinese people really eat at home. Rude calls to disgusting people.
Today Carlito is calling to schedule job interviews from the toilet.
LTM joins us for the first time after coming home from therapy. Carlito has a grocery store position he’s hiring for – sub-humans need not apply. We call a drunk man about his truck and snow plow for sale. We call a different Turkish place to complain about Faizan the Haiwan. Zolar joins us for some hotel calls.
Carlito is back at it with the newspaper, calling employers out on their grammar faux pas, eating lunch while scheduling an interview and hitting on the receptionists. Eventually he just starts screaming and grunting and barking at them over the phone. Vacuum salesmen are putting their sexual organs in the cleaning machines, Carlito places an incestuous floral order and the Mormons don’t want to talk about John Smith ejaculating.
Carlito wants to shave a Korean boy’s head and eat his downy Asian hair. An army specialist wins a new Hyundai. A christian gets upset when we accuse his roommate of living a secular lifestyle. KDK is going to file harassment charges on us.
A short show with a few more calls to companies looking to fill positions. A salesman is saying Eddi’s name incorrectly on purpose. Carlito is inviting receptionists out for lunch. A school vice principal is not willing to break his code of ethics to help Carlito cheat on his Algebra exam.
There’s a heat wave going on, Carlito is calling pensioners in the UK to warn them. Indian men don’t like to wear condoms according to Tedwwweb. There’s no charge for naked sister with your dinner. A male escort has been hired to give a massage and take a shower with a young conventioneer.
Eddie follows up with one of the hiring managers from last week who absolutely remembers him. Carlito uses the Lord’s name in vain when a church refuses to say God Bless You to him. A war vets story sounds a lot like the ending of Rambo II.
| MOTHERFUCKERS ARE LISTENING DAMMIT |
