Category: 2014

I’ll Bust Yer Sheeit – 4/10/14


helicopter-stormyJack Masterson is having trouble ordering curbside ambulance service pizza. Carlito has another fit, this time over fried chicken. Eddie Quois finds a lost dog, renames it, gets into a bunch of heated exchanges with the owners and then blames it all on Mike Tucker. We are returning a lost iPhone but not before downloading all the pics first. Congratulations to Engima420 on passing his CCNA test on the first try!

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Show Notes:

0:16:08 Calling Taco Johns about a bottle of tequila that got thrown on the roof
0:27:10 Jack Masterson calling for curb side ambulance service
0:31:04 Jack gets hung up on again
0:31:50 Milkman calls to order lamb curry and naan bread
0:32:58 Calling back after getting the phone problem fixed
0:39:12 Hung up on for saying God dammit
0:42:08 Having a fit over a botched chicken order
0:47:34 No panjabi
0:57:48 Calling to Medevac a poodle by helicopter to an emergency vet hospital with a dog (or horse) machine
1:03:50 ..transferrring Dr. McLanahan
1:06:26 Returning someones lost cell phone but not before downloading all their pics first
1:11:31 Carlito found Queenie the lost dog
1:23:09 ..I’ll bust yer sheeit
1:23:35 ..National Call Tracing Center assists
1:25:02 ..Dwight returns a call on his caller ID
1:27:25 Dwight offers a fight to a previous victim
1:30:04 Carlito hacks into a lost iPhone he found at a casino
1:32:56 ..calling back to advise show is ending early
1:36:14 Lady calls back about found phone, Eddie Quois explains he likes to watch his wife breast feed
1:41:02 Calling back about Queenie

Music featured on this episode:

Crazy Fucker from California – Crazy Accordian
Joe Pesci – Take Your Love And Shove It
Turnabout Jazz Soul – Godot – The Fragrance of Dark Coffee
MF Doom [Special Herbs 9 and 0] – Vinca Rosea
MF Doom [Special Herbs, Vol 3-4] – Styrax Gum
MF Doom [special herbs vol 5-6 – Galangal Root
MF Doom [special herbs vol 5-6 – Lavender Buds
MF Doom [Special Herbs vol. 1-2] – All Spice
MF Doom [Special Herbs, Vol 3-4] – Lemon Grass
MF Doom [Special Herbs 9 and 0] – Datura Stramonium
MF Doom – Secret Herbs & Spices Beat 1 (Little Sambo)
MF Doom [Special Herbs vol. 1-2] – Shallots
MF Doom [Special Herbs, Vol 3-4] – Spikenard
MF Doom [Special Herbs 9 and 0] – Passion Flower
Eazy E – 04 – Still A Nigga Feat. Rhythum D

Apr 10, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

The Monkey That Fell Out Of The Tree – 4/9/14

monkey-falls-signA short show with Baz and Carlito – two married oil workers who have been chased out of a hotel in Billings, MT by the Rev. Jebediah Snakewater. Some brief calls to angry Indians lead to the usual curses and threats.

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Show Notes:

0:03:00 Calling the YMCA about horrible iced tea and masturbating
0:04:58 ..calling back to apologize and clarify
0:07:58 2 oil men, one room, one bed and Rev. Jebediah Snakewater
0:21:00 Calling The Loft as recommended by the lady during the previous call
0:28:55 Calling the Victorian about the glory holes
0:53:04 The Marriot in Pattaya
0:58:44 Placing an order from bastard
0:59:24 ..calling back the bastard monkey
1:01:53 ..connecting another unsuspecting Indian restaurant
1:05:00 Bolice calls back

 

Apr 09, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

Have You Ever Had Your Shit Pushed In? – 4/3/14

cat-shit-pushedMilkman calls in upset after being ignored by Carlito for several months. We call on several ads for items for sale including pontoon boats, industrial meat grinders and Furbies.  The crew pins Ken’s harrasing calls on our old friend KDK. Some good old UK wake-up calls.

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Show Notes:

0:15:31 Calling the motherfucker who keeps texting Carlito
0:17:08 Call motherfucker back
0:18:51 Ordering pizza with crust, tomato sauce, cheese, salt and garlic with one meat
0:22:12 Connecting Bel Air pizza, asking if they ever get their shit pushed in
0:22:50 Connecting big girl at Dominos
0:26:03 Ordering another one pizza from girls that finger each other
0:29:38 Calling back for chicken fingers
0:30:35 How are you little monkey boy
0:39:43 Calling to get the mother fucking pontoon boat, mother fucker
0:46:50 Calling sexy Stanley for a meat grinder
0:54:03 Late call from the DNC
0:56:06 Furbies came out in 1998 stupid
1:00:42 Masturbating the baby bull
1:08:07 Following up on Ken’s harrasing phone calls
1:09:54 ..calling back to help out
1:12:08 ..pinning KDK for the harrasing calls
1:20:48 Dwight calls about a pontoon boat for sale
1:30:25 McDonalds in Australia
1:43:47 Calling about a dog in the front yard
1:44:56 ..calling again about the dog
1:46:42 ..calling once again to tell him to man the fuck up
1:49:09 ..yet another call about the dog
1:53:15 Carlito’s hospital roomate call (RBCP)
2:03:22 Angry guy will slit Dwight’s throat
2:05:03 Zoo in Denmark (or not)
2:05:03 Peter Bradley (UK) reported by the Royal Service
2:21:25 Baz confirming his bedroom reservation
2:23:08 ..calling back and being told to get off the bloody line
2:24:05 United Water Machines checking on the toilet water
2:27:28 Baz would like to come and join a British couple in bed
2:28:42 ..calling back and being ordered to cease and decist
2:32:07 Hey Ballard
2:32:54 Quick hang up on Baz
2:33:25 Calling back to announce the Outstanding Citizen award

Music features in this episode:

Jay-Z – Izzo (H.O.V.A.)
Jay-Z – Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)
Jay-Z – Can I Get A…
Turnabout Jazz Soul – Godot – The Fragrance of Dark Coffee
MF Doom [Special Herbs 9 and 0] – Vinca Rosea
MF Doom [Special Herbs, Vol 3-4] – Styrax Gum
MF Doom [special herbs vol 5-6 – Galangal Root
MF Doom [special herbs vol 5-6 – Lavender Buds
MF Doom [Special Herbs vol. 1-2] – All Spice
MF Doom [Special Herbs, Vol 3-4] – Lemon Grass
MF Doom [Special Herbs 9 and 0] – Datura Stramonium
MF Doom – Secret Herbs & Spices Beat 1 (Little Sambo)
MF Doom [Special Herbs vol. 1-2] – Shallots
MF Doom [Special Herbs, Vol 3-4] – Spikenard
MF Doom [Special Herbs 9 and 0] – Passion Flower
MF Doom [special herbs vol 5-6 – Orange Blossoms
MF Doom [Special Herbs vol. 1-2] – Nettle Leaves
Rick Ross – 3 Kings (feat. Dr. Dre & Jay-Z)
Tupac – I Ain’t Mad At Cha
MF Doom [special herbs vol 5-6 – White Willow Bark
MF Doom [Special Herbs 7-8] – Safed Musli
Kalyanji & Anandji – Swami Safari

Apr 03, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

Cock Smoker – 3/27/14

smoking-roosterThey guys are giving trouble to businesses as usual including trying to buy beer in Pigeon Forge. Pastor Will calls us out on our prank skills then ruins every call we try to make with him. A man has replied to an ad for a personal massager, we try to antagonize him but he is too sedated to care.

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Show Notes:

0:06:45 Calling the wrong place
0:07:43 Where can I get a beer in Pigeon Forge?
0:08:31 ..Turbo is also upset about the lack of beer in town
0:10:15 Desert Inn on the beach.
0:18:23 Calling someone looking for a dog walker
0:21:23 Assless chaps
0:22:23 ..Matty calls back
0:25:15 Cambodians get their asses kicked by everybody
0:26:22 ..calling back to order 1 Pol Pot
0:29:56 What kind of Asian food is this
0:33:45 ..calling back to poll her on LTM vs Milkman
0:36:26 Inbound call for studio equipment
0:41:22 Calling about a snake
0:44:31 Selling a studio
0:52:47 Dwight calls back a tough guy
1:02:36 Equipment for sale
1:05:46 Get it out of your ass
1:09:37 Ukrainian Hotel hangs up quick
1:10:44 Is this the Soviet Union Hotel?
1:16:14 Vietnamese Foo
1:18:34 I didn’t like the tone of your text
1:23:57 Pastor WIll can’t be fazed
1:31:20 Pastor Will ruins a call
1:32:34 Bahnchod fail, Pastor Will critiques
1:33:38 Soviet Union call ruined by Pastor Will
1:33:38 Motherfucker calls Charlie
1:41:25 Apartheid at the South African hotel
1:44:06 ..transfer is taking too long
1:47:40 Shh Shh Shh Shh
1:50:29 Bull mastiff measurements
1:53:05 .. calling back and getting yelled at
1:55:26 Turbo Nairing his balls yields a hang up
1:56:02 ..calling back about the problem with the drain
1:57:25 The entire panel jumps in with vulgar comments
2:02:58 Calling back a Craigslist responder
2:05:00 Like the girl wo gives head but doesn’t like to
2:05:37 What’s a cock smoker?
2:06:51 Connecting another guy on the line to get it out of the ass machine
2:08:27 Are you having a bad day sir?
2:18:54 What is your beef sir?
2:23:08 You have to be sstraight acting if you come for the free equipment
2:26:25 Previous guy figures out Dwight changed his voicemail
2:29:35 Calling back the Junk Buster
2:35:15 Tempurpedic bed for sale – calling too late
2:36:16 Putting a chihuahua in a basket and shooting him down a lake on a bicycle
2:43:03 Woman responded to personal massager ad
2:45:09 Sedated man responded to personal massager ad
3:02:26 Indian troubleshoot call fail
3:05:08 She will track our number
3:16:46 Another Comcast complainer
3:26:21 Daniel complaining about airline service
Mar 27, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

Nougat – 3/26/14

NougatJoin Carlito, Baz and Laugh Track Matt as they sneak in the word nougat and blow the train whistle in as many calls as possible. Throwing stuff at the display cases in museums. Chasing lost dogs off with rocks and candy bars. Doing poppers, smoking drugs and feeding monkeys at the zoo. Delivering drugs to Robinson Cano at the spring training locker room.

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Show Notes:

0:06:30 A long wait just to say “I’m a choo-choo train”
0:10:15 Basillica upset at Carlito’s choice of words
0:12:01 Looking to throw objects at the museum
0:15:18 All five lines are busy at the art museum
0:17:44 Head museum
0:22:43 Calling the US Airways arena for train tickets
0:24:12 ..Baz calls back
0:33:40 A baseball landed right by Carlito’s feet by the ballpark
0:35:26 Delivering drugs for Robinson Cano
0:40:35 Calling a Lutheran church out of boredom
0:42:21 Desert voyages
0:44:39 ..calling back to sneak in nougat
0:47:39 Calling about the monkeys
0:53:34 .. calling back about the nougat we fed the monkey
0:53:49 Calling the San Diego zoo resort on a recorded line
0:57:40 Hot boxing in the parking lot
0:58:29 ..calling again honking the horn
0:59:35 The best fishing line to strangle a monkey
1:01:00 ..you smell like tuna
1:01:55 ..a couple more calls
1:03:28 Indian food order
1:07:45 ..calling back about rude treatment
1:10:07 ..calling from the parking lot
1:15:47 Lady at the hotel
1:17:07 Indian calls in and calls Matt a fucking pussy
1:18:37 Connecting Indian guy with the hotel lady
1:18:37 Several calls to the hotel guy about getting fed nougat
1:34:53 Calling about a lost dog that was fed nougat and had a seizure
1:45:12 Freeze…up right your ass!
1:47:14 ..calling back and calling the “Laawwwuh”
1:47:21 Angry bahnchod order
1:49:52 Offering stuff for a wedding
1:55:12 Sitting on a riding mower in the living room eating a nougat bar
1:56:07 …why’d you hang up mother fucker?
1:57:08 Found a wallet at the hospital
1:59:44 Connecting another random guy with a lost wallet
2:01:59 ..calling back his mom about nougat
2:15:40 Willie calling Walt Disney World HR
2:17:27 ..calling about the nougat bars not having come in yet
2:20:13 UK callback by Baz
Mar 26, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

Bookstore Gloryhole Madness – 3/24/14

ghCarlito and Baz call a few Best Buys trying to be let out with unpaid merchandise. We play a voicemail left by an angry lance corporal last night. Carlito wants to leave Macaroni Grill with a to go order and a ton of silverware and plates. Several hilarious calls to Barnes and Noble regarding gloryhole action and requesting food, drink and magazines to be delivered to stall #2

0:05:05 Why so long to pick up?
0:06:24 Chipotle is the McDonalds of Mexican restaurants.
0:11:12 Calling about the silverware theft policy at Macaroni Grill
0:20:35 Problem with the security motherfucker
0:21:01 David calling from inside the store
0:23:04 Baz wants to be let out of the back door at Best Buy
0:25:29 ..Eddie calling back about loss prevention procedures
0:31:29 Baz is going to be hanging out in the restroom for a little while
0:32:26 Baz’s name puts a Best Buy clerk on guard
0:34:32 Calling Best Buy Mobile for a Samsung TV
0:38:06 Building a human zoo, need Mexicans
0:42:12 Looking for sexy shoes and feet to make a foot pussy
0:45:13 Angry Lance Corporal leaves a voicemail for Sgt Eddie Cross
0:47:07 Several calls to check how the action is at the Barnes and Noble gloryhole
0:53:33 Calling a different B&N for a gloryhole action check
0:54:33 Placing an order for a Maxim magazine to be delivered to the bathroom
0:57:05 Another bookstore gloryhole call
0:58:21 … waiting too long, calling yet another store
1:00:14 What are the bathroom stall dividers made of?
1:03:42 Baz ordering a food delivery to the bathroom
1:04:53 ..calling back and getting banned from the store
1:06:08 Calling to make another order for bathroom delivery
1:07:14 Yet anoter B&N call
1:09:49 Looking up the Kamasutra
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Mar 24, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

We Take Our Shits Down Here – 3/20/14

chicken-fightWe are calling the island nation of Puerto Rico tonight where chickens are loose in the our rooms and people are taking shits in our toilets. Carlito has gotten himself into some trouble with terrorists in Turkey, the hotel clerk is not willing to help get us out of the mess. More twitter complaints and what not and so forth and things of this nature.

Show Notes:

0:06:50 DMV complaint
0:10:40 Needing all the knives put away at the steakhouse in PR
0:19:05 Placing a new order at the Turkish Kitchen
0:34:10 ..Canceling the order
0:21:05 Why you talking to me like that?
0:21:50 How are you honey baby?
0:22:13 Gristle hangs up again
0:23:26 Oscar hangs up
0:24:11 Complaining about Oscar
0:43:56 Shut up, stop talking and talking
0:43:56 Someone took a shit in Dwight’s hotel room toilet machine
0:51:01 Is Tommy Oliver there?
0:53:09 JDF search fail
0:56:50 JDF search fail again
1:02:19 Blue hotel #1
1:02:53 Blue hotel #2
1:08:13 ..coming back from hold
1:11:12 Blue hotel #3
1:11:12 Donde esta la leche?
1:22:29 PR convenience store #1
1:26:18 PR convenience store #2
1:29:07 Rabid chicken loose in the hotel room
1:33:02 Another rabid chicken
1:35:51 Captured by islamist extremists in Turkey
1:39:10 Another call to a Turkish hotel
1:40:07 Yet another call to a Turkish hotel
1:45:13 Even more calls to a Turkish hotel
1:49:13 ..connecting Faizan
1:51:16 ..connecting another Turk
1:54:09 ..connecting the Turkish Kitchen in NYC
1:55:45 ..connecting a white boy
2:14:05 Dwight calling for Charlie
2:16:24 Insulting an Australian restaurant
2:18:14 Pizza pocket
2:18:59 ..make a tuna pussy pizza pocket
2:25:01 Comcast Twitter complainer
2:26:22 ..Supervisor calls back
2:27:17 ..General counsel calls back
2:33:46 Another Comcast complainer
2:42:10 I smell pot coming from your house
2:47:33 Banchod!
2:52:07 Another hotel JDF search fail
2:54:53 More Indian takeaway
2:56:15 Tandoori shit food
2:57:50 Spunky monkey
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Mar 20, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

Milking Horses – 3/17/14

horsemilk

The guys finally get a hold of JDF’s wife Tammy.  Several horse calls including horse massages, horse bachelor parties and horse milking.  It’s St. Patricks Day and we’re calling Ireland to ask about how much drinking and fucking they’re doing.  Ken’s violent niece is throwing jars of pickles at 7-11, we need helping controlling here while we shop for swords and canteens.

Show Notes:

0:02:37 Calling for nice, thick and goopy horse semen
0:04:29 ..Did you see Jackass 2?
0:05:00 ..David Snozwell calls back
0:07:16 Horse massage
0:08:22 Horse entertainment?
0:14:04 Horse therapy liar
0:15:32 Arabian horse member
0:19:11 ..calling back Big Fat Cindy
0:23:44 Cross looking to buy breast milk
0:26:45 Honda Accord for sale, Any sex in it?
0:28:32 Used sports car… or cards?
0:31:37 Alpacas
0:37:41 Tammy Frank finally answers the phone
0:45:21 Mexican guy is not JDF
0:50:11 Foam matresses made from plant machines
0:52:09 Car for sale
0:53:39 ..calling back about the car
0:57:05 An order for bahnchod
0:58:05 ..calling the police on us
0:59:09 Don orders bahnchod
1:01:13 Baz orders bahnchod
1:04:19 Just one moment. -Click-
1:06:06 It is a bad word
1:09:44 ..why you hang up?
1:11:02 Irish St Pattys Call #1 – angry lady
1:12:00 ..calling back
1:12:57 ..calling yet again
1:13:36 Miles O’Brien from Starfleet
1:15:27 Father O’Brien joins in
1:17:39 Irish St Pattys Call #2 goes nowhere
1:18:45 The angry lady calls back
1:31:28 Carlito calls the gym
1:37:17 Calling another gym
1:47:07 Free Magic: The Gathering cards
1:52:55 Grandma Rebecca
1:54:17 .. calling back
1:59:18 Asking 7-11 to watch our crazy violent niece
2:01:15 Calling the Army Surplus store next door to watch our niece while we hit up the 7-11 instead
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Mar 17, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

Three Men and a Baby Machine – 03/14/14

3menbabyA short pre-show before Art of Phonelarking with Carlito, Sl0th, Awkward and Enigma420. We hit up some more people who were interested in our free bedroom set. Sl0th upsets a sushi restaurant with his questions and bufoonery. Carlito wants to park in an event parking lot, get his girl pregnant, then go to a concert wearing adult cloth diapers to avoid going to the bathroom.

Show notes:

0:06:40 Parking and fucking
0:12:24 Bedroom set 1 (Sl0th)
0:15:58 Bedroom set 2 (Awkward)
0:23:50 ..calling back to let him know we have already started
0:27:16 Engima is bi so he can’t prank the sushi place
0:27:46 ..calling back to place a sushi order
0:34:15 Getting recommendations for shitting and pissing at a concert using an adult cloth diaper
0:38:49 ..calling back for clarification on cleaning the shit and piss
0:43:08 Getting rid of Karl Kani jeans
0:45:09 ..Dr. Big Baby Baz gets hung up on
0:46:22 Calling a kitchen supply warehouse about the ball with the thing

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Mar 14, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

No Plasma TV for Hispanics – 03/13/14

No-TV-We are hiding in the crawl space under a hostel and need our water. Carlito has locked himself in the bathroom at TGI Fridays and refuses to come out until the music is turned down. Jiad is filming a reality show at the Subway in Compton. Several incoming calls from people wanting a free bedroom set and plasma TV. Dr Unk entertains with some JDF calls.

Show notes:

0:05:03 Hostel in Little Italy-“I need my fucking water, man.”
0:08:14 ..Baz apologizes
0:09:14 ..Polkja calls for the water
0:15:14 Calling to sell Cuban Cohiba cigars
0:17:21 ..Fongoul puttana
0:20:33 .. Zolar tries to prank in Italian
0:30:27 Zolar prank liquor store as Anita
0:32:19 ..tries again
0:34:26 Burger King of Compton
0:36:54 Jiad pranks a guy named Fucking/Joaquin at Subway
0:39:35 ..Jiad calls back with the psychic on the line
0:40:33 A quite pleasant Subway
0:44:18 Another Subway in Compton, filming a reality TV show
0:45:43 ..we don’t want any nappy wigs and bad hair, will be providing Hitler mustaches
0:50:15 Carlito is hiding from the loud music in the bathrrom at the Compton TGI Fridays
0:52:00 ..still refusing to come out because of the loud music
0:52:41 Still waiting
0:54:06 ..wife now waiting on Carlito
0:58:29 Blackman pizza (several calls)
1:01:19 ..Dwight calls back (several more calls)
1:04:31 Albert (Zolar) crapped his pants
1:06:40 .. Baz calls back
1:08:39 .. OH MY GAWD
1:09:25 Come at me bro
1:10:06 ..Come at me bro 2
1:10:56 ..Dwight calls to say come at me bro
1:15:04 Get it out of your ass
1:16:15 ..”Are you some kind of LDS Mormon motherfucker?”
1:17:39 Incoming call from a mother fucker
1:21:43 What if I had a penis transplant?
1:26:14 Sexy honey baby calling for a bed set
1:27:17 .. Faq U
1:28:43 Indian order
1:30:11 ..Bedroom set 2
1:31:25 ..Zolar joins in
1:36:27 First call to the corporal
1:38:15 ..Bedroom set 3
1:42:02 Dr. Baz ordering stupid, filthy Indian food
1:47:11 Zolar orders a special dish
2:01:18 David Sonzwell with an order
2:01:57 ..We’re all laying down on it right now (Bedroom set 4)
2:03:25 Ordering a cake in the shape of a cow from an Indian bakery
2:05:21 Calling for an Indian sister at the Indian jewelry store
2:07:30 ..calling the bolice
2:07:58 ..Please don’t call bolice
2:08:41 ..”From where you are find my number?”
2:10:27 ..”I fuck your mother”
2:11:34 Bedroom set 5
2:12:18 ..Carlito apologizes for yelling at Baz and Ken
2:14:01 UK Michael wake up call
2:15:01 ..UK Michael wake up 2
2:15:45 ..Bedroom set 6 joins in
2:16:47 ..UK Michael has alzheimers, be assertive
2:20:23 Bedroom set 7
2:25:10 Chris the asshole is calling David in the UK
2:26:41 No plasma TV for hispanics
2:27:45 ..calling his woman back
2:30:01 ..Dwight calls again
2:31:36 ..Dr. Baz tries to mediate
2:32:22 “How can I help you handsome baby?” (Plasma TV call 2)
2:35:36 Plasma TV call 3
2:36:29 Bedroom set call 8
2:37:14 Plasma TV call 4
2:38:37 ..he calls back again
2:40:43 Plasma TV call 5
2:41:48 Plasma TV call 6 (Dwight)
2:48:21 JDF call 1
2:56:03 ..Calling back after Skype fails
3:17:41 JDF call 2
3:20:21 JDF call 3
3:41:39 JDF call 4
3:45:57 JDF call 5

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Mar 13, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

United Fiber Machines 3/11/14

fiber

Carlito, Baz and RBCP do some afternoon pranks during a new studio test. We need talented performing cats to mate with our female cats. Carlito is calling gym members with complants about their conduct. We confuse a lady regarding fiber orders. Several Indian restaurants are angered by our usual antics.

=Show Notes=====
1 0:05:16 You have a stupid dog for sale?
2 0:07:41 Please stop oggling the ladies at the gym, sir
3 0:15:14 Classic Madhouse Prank: I’m Reticent to Answer
4 0:25:29 Calling the Rockcats to get their talented felines to mate with ours
5 0:32:42 Smoeone tricks Carlito into calling the Alpha Launch Control Center
6 0:35:33 Baz and Carlito are collecting on a debt
7 0:42:25 Lost ring found in the park
8 0:45:29 .. Do you hear us now DAMMIT?
9 0:47:25 FIRST HALF OF SHOW ENDS. Classic Madhouse Prank: Fat Albert Salad
10 0:50:17 Classic Madhouse Prank: The Man Pants
11 0:58:09 Zolar Livelinks Prank Call
12 1:00:34 SECOND HALF OF SHOW BEGINS
13 1:05:45 Lumber Mill Music Video
14 1:07:35 .. Calling back for the woman who answers the phone
15 1:08:24 Baz is calling for fibers
16 1:09:21 ..Carlito is calling back to order fibers
17 1:14:34 Bangladeshi curse prank
18 1:16:38 ..Baz apologizes
19 1:18:18 ..Fuck you wanker
20 1:18:50 ..I want to kiss and touch your hair
21 1:19:23 ..Spread your buttcheeks for your medication
22 1:17:40 Indian call goes nowhere
23 1:25:47 Hi baby, how are you. (Indian restaurant)
24 1:27:05 .. Ordering one sister
25 1:28:55 French Hotel
26 1:29:41 Could you please stop calling
27 1:32:03 Gym complaint

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Mar 11, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

Trust Me – 3/6/14

t2Tonight we are joined by our pal Zolar along with Baz, Dwight, Turbo and Evil Artie (who is on a weed vacation in Colorado).  Big Fat Card Girl is not the one to fuck with.  An old man in the UK is going to give himself a heart attack.. An Indian guy actually brings his sister in front for us.  Boston legalizes upskirt pictures in public, we are looking to buy used iPhones for this purpose.

Show Notes:

03:39 Mustang for sale but nobody wants to talk.
05:36 Same people answer about gfucking on a Tempurpedic bed.

07:16 Dude is looking for a truck.

09:24 Baz and Turbo replying to an ad for a driver.

13:14 Calling Big Fat Card Girl about Dragonballz cards for sale
.. 14:14 “Trust Me”
.. 14:42 Calling the husband back for a long argument
.. 24:30 Connecting some other random mother fucker with the husband
.. 27:53 Connecting a girls bike for sale

34:07 Indian restaurant
36:12 Turbo asks how many gallons of semen fit in a tandori oven
.. Carlito calls back. puts Turbo back on the line
38:11 Quick angry Indian

40:01 Ordering Vietnemese Pho Fuh
..42:10 Ordering Vietnamese du ma may
..43:25 Trying to confirm what du ma may is.
..44:45 Still unable to confirm

55:10 – Cursing during a customer service survey

01:01:09 Calling back an effeminate applicant for a meat packing company, explaining we are adding animal meat to our product

01:14:00 Buying a cracked iPhone for taking upskirt pics on the Boston subway
.. 01:14:10 Calling the upset seller again
01:19:44 Calling more phones for sale
01:21:16 Baz calling even more phones for sale
01:31:39 A boring phone for sale
01:34:41 Zolar calling on a phone for sale
.. 01:36:24 Carlito calls back to apologize for Mr. Zolar
.. 01:40:10 You dirty enigma

01:41:36 Ordering eggs, pork meat and roasted labia

01:43:36 Major Chaos stole money from Zolar

01:48:46 Calling for custom circumcision cupcakes
.. 01:53:04 They refuse to accommodate our customization
.. 01:53:52 Baker says a deposit is required
.. 01:53:31 Baker is figuring us out

01:59:24 Zolar gets pissed at a foreigners accent
.. 02:01:02 Apologizing again for Zolar

02:02:22 Baz placing an Indian pickup order

02:04:58 “Police” leave a voicemail

02:08:00 Don’t call Carlito leaving stupid messages

02:09:54 Zolar’s Albert Mobley is ordering from the Turkish Kitchen

02:12:38 Talking to the Indian guy from last week

02:22:17 Dwight succeeds at making a Hare Krishna angry
..02:25:24 “BASTARD”

02:26:38 Indian guy actually brings his sister in front.
.. 02:28:27 Calling the bahnchod back
.. 02:30:30 Please don’t call police
.. 02:34:26 Baz calls again to be dirty some more

02:37:06 “Suspected” Indian food
.. 03:38:34 Albert calls back
.. 02:39:12 “Oh my gawd”

02:41:33 – UK David #1
02:44:59 – UK David #2
02:46:05 – UK David (or Ben?) #3
02:47:15 – UK Dr. David (#4)

02:49:54 – Michael Cope #1
.. 02:50:43 – “FUCK OFF!” (#2)
.. 02:51:02 – Rage yell (#3)
.. 02:53:09 First whistle attack (#4)
.. 02:54:26 Second whistle attack (#5)

02:51:43 – Calling a known homosexual in the UK

02:53:35 Zolar calls from wakeupcalls.com

02:56:12 Checking in on all the numbers

03:03:00 Last wake up call by David Snozwell

Standard Podcast [ 3:03:20 | 167.9 MB ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (2266)
Mar 06, 2014 | 1 comment | View Post

Special Time Agent Garcia – 3/3/14

Time_Agent_the_Specials_DVDJin Stewart joins Carlito and Baz for some pranks in Puerto Rico today.  Special Time Agent Garcia is having trouble tracking someone down.  Carlito is complaining to the tenants council about not being allowed to drill holes in his apartment walls.  Jin is trying to mick a Ferarri.  International Telephone Business Machiness calls a cable tv customer with a satisfaction survey regarding another satisfaction survey. A guy selling a Honda gets pissed off at Cross for talking some GTA game shit.

Standard Podcast [ 2:50:09 | 77.94 MB ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (2600)
Mar 03, 2014 | 1 comment | View Post

You Bloody Sod! – 2/27/14

sod_off_A guy selling wolf hybrid pups gets into a graphically descriptive conversation with us. Carlito talks it out with a Chinese masseuse. Dwight shoots the shit with a guy about his soon to be ex-wife. We don’t have much luck selling tickets in China. Carlito leaves a vulgar message for the mayor of Sidney, Australia. Evil Artie ate a ton of McDonald’s today. Baz wants fresh milk for his paneer, the Indian restaurant guy gets really pissed about it. UK wake-up calls with Brent Westwood round out the night.

Standard Podcast [ 3:12:47 | 88.3 MB ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (2235)
Feb 27, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post

I Am The Great Eagle – 2/26/14

recastsamCarlito is joined by LTM, RBCP, Baz, Tabachi and Turbo Machine. We get to the bottom of the story behind the Fraternal Order of Eagles. Big Ralph got a senior haircut, we callto let him know a bald spot was shaved into the back of his head. A horse is in urgent need of a blood transfusion, we are looking for a donor horse.  We want to segregate the cupcakes in the box.  Watching “CNN” while calling local businesses.

Standard Podcast [ 3:01:56 | 83.33 MB ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (2322)
Feb 26, 2014 | 0 comments | View Post
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