R.I.P. Daily Double – 10/25/2015
Carlito keeps cracking up during his calls. Milkman is lamenting the end of his favorite McDonalds menu item: the Daily Double. Carlito calls around trying to find an alternative option from McDonald’s as well as competitive bids from Burger King and Wendys. We have some fun at the expense of a few infomercial order lines. Job searching in Hawaii and offering to cut down someone’s free coconut tree. Another pissed off swap shop poster is meeting Carlito at the Walmart looking for his silver Prius after an argument regarding a satanic Elmo bed.
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A lady at Home Depot rats us out while calling our friend at Lowe’s. A different lady jumps at the chance to insult us after an inappropriate question regarding her clarinet. Carlito confronts a guy selling empty Dan Aykroyd Crystal Head Vodka skull bottles as expensive Halloween decorations. Some new Planet Fitness lunk alarm calls (including a hold fail).
Ordering a salad bar to go from Sizzler consisting of several large boxes of salad mix and several chopped onions. Also ordering the Chinese buffet to go. Carlito is trying to make a prank call about the Black Whopper but can’t get a Burger King to answer the phone. Local man wants us to drop six loads on his daughter. More Twitter complainers.
Looking to get the specs on some after-market horseshoes. We discuss the origin of the term “pair of pants”. Benedict Cumberbatch is researching a movie role, has the owner of a moving company meet him at a bar. Carlito is denied the secret of how McDonalds makes so many perfectly round eggs. We want to install a turkey in the middle of a table. A handful of very funny Twitter complainers.
Bayou man is looking for a room to rent – wants to take out the built in furniture for a discount. Dr. Cross, an animal expert for CNBC Radio, is producing a segment on aggressiveness in puppies who aren’t weaned properly. Black Adopting a black cat machine for a black pagan mass. Getting a sexual thrill from hunting deer. What do you mean by ‘Do what now’? A man gets upset when Carlito starts playing Counting.
Carlito is looking for some shutters for his fucking hole in the woods – can’t do the math to figure out the price. We send a guy to a Walmart parking lot to meet us for a job, he spends the next half hour looking for Carlito to beat his ass up for wasting his gas. Tying horses to the bumper of a Ford F100 by their legs and driving off. Carlito knows how to “have fun” during has calls.
Carlito wants to drive a rolling hospital bed around the house. Jin is distraught about seeing a red demon eyed man in Japan, reports it to the English-speaker at the museum. Carlito. Dirty Aaron checks in from the People Republic of China Machine. Waking up amd bothering wankers all over the world with Dwight, Morgan, Baz & Gen. Awesome.
Waking up are waking up Patel wankers. Jin wants to buy a carousel horse with a hole in it for his fist. We are calling Audi asking for the best way to steal one o ftheir cars. Later on they are seeking roadside assistance after experiencing a combined robbery/car jacking/assault/mouth-rape incident with a member of America’s favorite ethnic class! Artie’s whore’s car catches on fire.
Carlito has water coming out of his ass after eating bad food, he calls around looking for a pair of shorts and medical advice – HIPAA compliance is broken in the process. We try to convince Dadead to let us hear him have sex with his wife. General Awesome is confusing Jin Stewart & Dadead with his audio machines. A Comcast complainer is bothered with the fact that his social media accounts are being monitored.
